Okay,

Here is the low down ,down low as you might say . I didn't get the EMS non-transport  transport .So she didn't get to the Doctors office .Dumbasses . Someone need to put a foot in their ass . So I took it upon myself to contact .Dr.Van Ike /Dr. Ming  there office is able to do house calls . And they have a N.P.A. that would love to come and treat Moms for what ever she may need . (I don't know why I was told to do it the other way My way was so much more productive . )I will be getting paperwork tomorrow ,fill it out ... and that .Will be that! . It was so nice 911 called me back a little bit ago to see if see how I made out if I rescheduled and I  just simply said nope I found Dr.s that will come to her so I don't need transport assistance anymore but thank you very much (and by the way they need to straighten out some things with their scheduling system).Moral to the story boys and girls always go with your gut.Mine was telling me to do it my way but I tried it their way and look at the aggravation it caused. I don't want to over step my bounds with the care of Moms but I  guess if I stick with  with my instincts every thing will be gravy man Gr...ravy....

LISTEN TO THIS LOGIC

I called last week to set up non emergency transport for Smitt they called back talked to supervisor and conformed time was told to me at 2:30 today .Okay at 2:40 I call and no answer . I figured well it is EMS maybe there is an emergency . So I wait and call again . I get voice mail for the transport supervisor . I leave a message , and than I call 911 tell them it is a non emergency and told them what was going on and whom I talked with last week ,so then they put me on hold and than  I speak to a man who tries to tell me they didn't have a call for an appointment I said'' I was told 2:30 and I had to make an appointment ?'' They said ''No , we don't have you scheduled for 2:30 we don't have a non emergency transport available for at least 45 minutes .'' I said ''Well I guess I can reschedule her appointment and he said sure that would be fine ,But we may not have EMS available at that time either.'' So I'm like what the hell ?!.Why didn't they say when I made the appointment that they may not even be able to make it . Maybe I can talk with Nell the charge nurse at the Dr's office and make other arrangements . But I have to wait  until 4 for her to check her messages .

                               Bunch of crap ....

Well ,

Well here we are one week later , Smitty has been here from Hospital . She seems to  be doing well she has a doctors appointment @3pm . I hav made arrangements with the EMS for transport and hopefully it wont be raining when we go . I believe all will go well that is the only way to think about these things . Before when she was in Kindred you wouldn't of thought that she would last this long but with someone regulating her medications and a good diet with a lot of fruits and vegi's. She has good color , good BP ranging from 1teens up into the 120s  , O2 intake has been up in the high 90s since she has been here . Don't you just hate that when people say they know a patient when they have no clue .? I have searched her body and I couldn't find an expiration date on her any where ..'' Does any one else find that a bit stupid? I mean we all are mortal creatures but why take her life away while she is still alive? That is what wrong , to many people give up because of what a Doctor might say. They are not Gods .  And know I am having an issues with the ordering of  a therapeutic trapezes for working on her upper body strength .They "the Dr's" that is keep pushing for a Hoyer Lift . I am arguing that she needs to build up her upper body strength and than she would be able to get in and out of her seen to arrive wheel chair , and they tell  me that  ''That is what the Hoyer is for so she doesn't need the trapeze ." The Nurses that have been here are really amazed by how on top of things I am by having her meals planned out a month a ahead  and I have her calorie intake all worked out . I am watching her meds closer that they did at the Hospital . She's not all doped up on pain meds. She is comfortable . But any way they ask me have you ever thought about being licensed ? I have to laugh . And I say ''Nope, not for this .''

WOW....

How do you know enough is enough ? Okay , first off every thing went better than expected at the hospital appointment that I had . There was some thing on the mammogram but they tell me it is just fatty tissue and breast fibers ? Who knew ....breast  fibers ?  Well it is day two of taking care of my almost  mother in law . And her being here from the hospital . I am not as tried as I thought I would be . Yet . with getting up in the middle of the night to suction her trac , making sure she is comfortable ,cooking for her, cleaning her, all around care cause some one needs to do it .  ( Anyway ....)So far I am on top of things . My boyfriend than tells my daughter yesterday  that I am sending him to the poor house . I am just trying to make sure his mother has everything she needs I can't help it he has no help except from his own family with paying for her medications and supplies that her insurance doesn't cover . It is hard  on him . I try to make it easy for him though, I keep the house clean (well I did that anyway ), have dinner ready when he is ready to eat supper and I also have his lunch ready when he comes home for lunch and  mind you I am taking care of his mom 24 hours a day .That is where this may come in handy as a vent you know if I get a little too worked up I can come here to keep from pinching any ones head off. My feet are killing me though .

What next?: Yoga ,

What next?: Yoga ,: It's amazing that when one tries to rest the phone must ring. With all that is going on with me and my extended family or future family how ...

Yoga ,

It's amazing that when one tries to rest the phone must ring. With all that is going on with me and my extended family or future family how ever you want to look at it .Yoga does help me when I feel blue .

I sit and I stare into space ,
with a sore back needing to find some grace.
I think to myself what can I do ,
To keep my self healthy and to not  feel blue .

Yoga , I yell ...
what can it hurt ,so what the hell.
I am sad and sore ,
so I sit on the floor .

I stretch and breath ,
I bend and breath ,
In and out
Up and down .

I try to think of nothing at all .Do you know how hard it is to think of nothing at all?

But still I stretch and breath ,
In and out .
I bend and breath ,
Up and down .

 Is it working ? Sure it is I fell better , and now my back doesn't hurt  ,and my mind is empty. Probably not the deep lingering concept for Yoga but , I feel better . Isn't that all that matters?

A tunnel my daughter and made her first trip to Boone .
(Just sharing memories ....)

Gathering strength ....

As I walk up the stairs to my front door ,  reaching for the handle on the storm door than unlock the front door I am washed over with the since of confusion and with the feelings of what next ?What is going on ? Let me back up a bit . I went for a mammogram last week seeings how I am now 40 and that my mother pasted away from what was thought to be breast cancer but her final diagnoses was Carcinoma other wise known as CUP (Carcinoma of Unknown Primary ) They thought is was breast cancer because of the location . So know here am . I just went threw training so we can bring my future husbands mother home from the hospital . Stressing over that and 24 ventilator training coming up and Advance people coming by to inspect my home to tell me what I need to take care of her  . I get a phone call from my Doctors office telling me that something showed up in the mammogram .Something , maybe nothing ?.!. I'm like ? Ok? So the nurse says"?It's gray blurry something and we just want to get an ultrasound to see what it may or may not be". How do some people get there jobs? That was insane .
     So here I am ,wondering what the heck .  All I heard after that was" next Thursday @ 8:50 am Outpatient Center ". I ask " Is there anyway we can do this sooner than next Thursday my mother in law is coming to stay with us so I can take care of her " and she than replies "I tried to find an earlier one but that is as soon as they can get it ". Now I am worried ."The earliest . Well it must be something , this possible nothing or why would she be trying to get me there earlier. And now there is today my youngest daughter gets up and goes to school my future husband gets up take a shower and goes to work . ..... .I am alone in the house . It's gray and cloudy outside  .Going to rain sometime . Did I say alone? I started thinking and thinking ,for some people that is not such a good thing to do . At point in time that some people was me . I know grammar is sucking right now,but gosh darn it I am freaking out here . I thought well maybe it's stress ." Stress" ya that does strange things to people . I thought  about Smitty that's my future mother in law . I am thinking about my girls ''I have 3 and 1 grandson " (whom I don't get to see due to choices made by his parent).
Anyway I was rambling .I receive a phone call today and by the way it is Wednesday  and it is from the Hospital in my home town so I am really buggin out . I wasn't expecting  that ,   like I was expecting any of this . And it is that remind me of my appointment for tomorrow @8:50 am . WHAT! I thought I had time to wrap my head around all this . So need less to say I am gather strength . I have calmed down so doing this blog may help . If you have been in a situation similar to mine lets chat .