Ok , Smitt made it home from the Hospital yesterday, I was trained to change the trac before we took a ride in the ambulance to get her home . So that makes so far , I know all about the  operation of the Ventialtor .( check )Nebulizer machine and the meds for said machine (check) . S.A.S.H. which is her I.V. meds. and technique that I do  manually... (check) . Oh  yes and changing the dagdone Trac (check) That one took the longest because I had to find the right Doctor to give the ok on And his said he does not do that but ... because he has heard such good things about me he will give the clearance . So now I am wondering who and why are people in the medical profession talking about me. I am just one woman taking care of somebody elses mom. I get so upset some times I don't mean to . But , I do more for this woman than I ever had to do for my mother( her IV she had a machine) . I didn't have to give my mother breathing treatments , And she never I mean never used to the bed pan with me either. So I hope you can see why I get so sad some times. It is hard on me , but I do it for John and his family because I know what it will be like when they lose there mom. Because I lost mine . I miss her ever so much . And I don't think I am appreciated for what I do , but I trudge one penniless oh yes I don't get paid for what I do .On call 24hours a day with a break only when Smitt goes back into the hospital . And don't let me get started on the arguments. Is it worth all the heart ache ? I hope ....... Well and on top of all that at this pee hour in the morning I get the bed pan so Smitt could use it on the way to empty it out John 's little min pin took a crap in the floor and guess what I did on my way to the bathroom to empty the bedpan ? I HATE THAT DOG!!!! I am  a cat person they at least you a box. Like my life just keeps getting better . And for those of you who find that last part funny .... Walk one day in my shoes and see  just how funny it really is ......