Lets see who I am ....... Shall we ?

     

 Greetings from the far side of the inter web . Before my mother passed away she and her sister worked on the family tree . ( I could not begin to tell who started and could really care less .....)
OUCH ! ....you may say but you see my mothers family has to be taken with a shot of bourbon . To Hell with a grain of Salt or a spoon full of Sugar .Come to find out this is a serious business.... You would not believe the stuff One finds out about Ones family when you jump on ancestry.com .I mean I have worked on the tree my self and before mom passed away in 2008  we dabbled along with the Whose uncle was that ? Is that her sister ? Who do they belong too?"deal. I really enjoyed working on the family tree with her .Than she got sick and died 6 months and I put the family tree out of my mind until spring before last and I was at my moms house moving some of her plants ...( she loved plants) Until one day I looked in the old chicken coup I stumbled across this box of papers and low and behold there it was ..... My mothers family tree thrown in to a box in a leaky old chicken coup .   I it scooped in up and brought it home and it sat in my office for a year and a half than I dumped it out and started organizing each piece of paper and every little scribble ..   Jumped in with both feet and ordered the kit from Ancestry DNA...made an account and I'm off and running .

                                             BUM.... BUM ......BUM .........M....

 This is not the whole who's your daddy thing . I mean, I know who my sperm donor was and that is all he will ever be to me . What time we did spend around each other I discovered him to be a fake and his family just excepted it . I could never live in a world like that pretending to be something bigger then who you are and I know the man that has his last name on my birth certificate is not the giver of life that runs threw my veins no matter how much I wish that to be . But I am a firm believer that one creates their own connections and family as ones life grows and changes . Blood relation is not always a good thing. ( personal experiences aside but , I am sure many of you reading can relate ) I am excited and looking forward to the fact of knowing with out a shadow of a doubt who I am and what I am made up of . I really don't care about the psychos and sycophants that I was forced to be around in my youth or at anytime in my life for that matter in my mothers immediate family   (and if someone takes offense to this than you must of done something in your past ) lol Believe me they know who they are .....  I started a blog years ago "Letters to Damian" for my grandson for one day he will know where he comes from and know we have always cared for him especially during these times we don't get to see him.

 Okay well there was a brief babbling about my beginning of this part of my family voyage .

      Good Peace to you and yours .

This is how I feel about taking a knee

It has been brought to my attention by a loving Sister that I have made statements to both sides of the " kneeling debate" .Please allow me to clarify how I feel about this . Our country being what it is , allows us to disagree and allows us to show how we feel within the law. This Nation gives us these freedoms for expression . I could careless about Football and can certainly careless about Trump . What I do care about is my voice and , I believe in the Constitution and the Bill or Right and I believe these very things are in danger . I believe that our history is slowly being taken away from us with the allowances of the destruction of our historical statues and landmarks and the land of which they are built upon , because to some are offending . Why is it since Trump has been in office all of a sudden this figures of OUR HISTORY have become offensive ? I believe that this childlike behavior and it offends me as an American .I believe that many of us that have been long out of school need to go back and review our Constitution and take a refresher course in American History . I was unaware of many details were are being left out of many of these shares and posts created and left by others and after doing some homework concerning the bigger picture over this kneeling ordeal. Which is that these stadiums that these players play in are under contact with the government for their general up keep and repair and in the government taking over these stadiums a contractual stipulation for owners and players was created and agreed upon that to improve this Nations morale to bring us closer together as a Nation .

A 62-63 of the league rule book .

The National Anthem must be played prior to every NFL game, and all players must be on the sideline for the National Anthem.

During the National Anthem, players on the field and bench area should stand at attention, face the flag, hold helmets in their left hand, and refrain from talking. The home team should ensure that the American flag is in good condition. It should be pointed out to players and coaches that we continue to be judged by the public in this area of respect for the flag and our country. Failure to be on the field by the start of the National Anthem may result in discipline, such as fines, suspensions, and/or the forfeiture of draft choice(s) for violations of the above, including first offenses.

Now I am all for peaceful protest and I understand what the players are doing , but in signing their multi million dollar contacts to play by kneeling they are in breach of that contract and should be held accountable . We as a Nation are allowed the freedoms of expressions under law but in doing so at time consequences do adhere there in . First infraction is to be fined . Second infraction is to be suspended . Third and final infraction permanent removal from team . In many peaceful protests some are arrested and fined . But here for some reason this is not the case . One can not have it both ways ! The NFL has not fined any player or owner .So contracts should be pulled . With our Nation in such a state of unrest this behavior is only leading to more unrest . Trump is dividing us as a country he is allowing distraction to our history and no good will come of it .

I believe Our Nation as a whole is in trouble and it is only going to get worse .Mother Nature is in upheaval . We have more homelessness and poverty . We have more sick and more in need . And all anyone can talk about is taking a knee . Don't you see it all of this is just a smoke screen for what is really going on ? Trump will soon have us at War with North Korea and he could careless he will just take his privileged family and jump on a plane and keep them safe while the rest of us struggle to survive . Kim Jong-un is threatening to test a Hydrogen bomb in the Pacific Ocean that will effect not just us but all humans .The Oceans are a large source of food supply for us humans . That poison will spread just like the poison that spreads across our country now . HATE!!!! I believe that Trump is not looking out for the greater good as a Nation or anyone for that matter .

That is how I feel . Good Peace to you and yours . Thank you for reading .

The Duggar Deal

To whom it may concern .

         This is my input about the Josh Duggar scandal. I like others have watched the show but deep down  I knew that there was something hidden under all the religious facade. But I could not figure it out .  Until the side hug .  That's right the side hug. I thought in a tight family , hugs are a sign of love and trust. But a side hug ? Hmmm .  That creates distance and mistrust . I cant help but think that the Duggar parents created the side hug to keep the sex parts away from each other . Right ? In most families a hug is a hug but coming from abusive childhood myself . I seen the patterns . So there had to be a reason behind it and now we  know Josh is a child molester .That explains a lot . I have read the things that others have had to say about all of this and some say he was a child.  He was 14  like that excuses his behavior , and he should be forgiven.What ?! Sounds like excuses to me . Excuses,  excuses, excuses, their is no excuse for harming a child .  That's all most like saying I'm sorry after you have just  hit me in the face and then you hit me again .Saying I'm sorry does not mean you feel bad for me because my face is now bruised and blackened , it is just an admission of guilt in my book.  I have been abused mentally and physically and I'm sorry does not mean anything other then you know hit me in the face .Well , I know you hit me , My face hurts .    I am 44 and when my mother took me from Joe  (my daddy)  I was molested by aunts and uncles( her brothers and sisters) who were ALSO children who ranged from the age of 8 to 18 and that does not make it okay .  And to this day they have never said im sorry . So I guess they meant it . If a person never admits that they have molested another person then in their mind they have not done wrong .And I still carry that with me and at times and  it will not go away . ( LIKE NOW! ) Being held down by force and  being tied to a wall by family members so they can have their way with you . Being forced to do things that no little girl should EVER have to  experience in a life time , while they do what ever to you while you cry and scream for your mother who never comes , but because you are so small and your parents are gone It didn't matter to them . Because they can't get caught doing  vile and evil things . It does not make it okay . They should be punished, as should he .What kind of kids were they ? who does that to a child . I am glad i can not remember all of what was done to me . It took a lot of therapy to get this far.  It does not matter what kind of person he is now . He is a sex offender and should treated like one . At 14 one knows right from wrong and he was wrong !  And so was his family to cover it up. As was mine ! You can not push it  vile behavior under the carpet and forget about it .Eventually there will be a large lump in the floor . Crimes like this do not go away . Families that try to act perfect are far from it . He will burn for what he has done and so will those who helped him hide it . And as far as my family . I have no family from my mothers side . When my mother died and than Grandfather died that was the only family I had and as for the rest of the aunts and uncles with the exception of 2 aunts they  have always treated me like I wasn't family .  My heart is not broken for them  . I  make my own family and as I reach out to family I have not known. I will protect you with my life if needed .I will be there for you . I try to be a kind and understanding . I am an honest and peaceful person living out  my life . I try not to hate those who have hurt me, just for the fact that hate gets you nowhere , but I hold no sympathy for child molesters , even if they themselves are children.   Much light and love to you who have been hurt.

Social Media

    What a day yesterday was , I have come to find out that one of these social media conglomerate has  become a pain in my side , But, through it all I will move on . But this first , One has FB for staying in touch with children that have left home , family memebers that may be far away , I found it a place to stay in touch in some moronic way, I too have fell victim to its ease of trying to stay in contacts with those that are away from me . Being able to see post that they put up as and One corresponds by liking and what not . A place to see a steal a glimpse at people that have been ripped out of Ones life. 
    But ,  I am sad and worn out , tired and heart broken and left unknowing of results of yesterday and today . I hate that Facebook has become a place where some come and communicate . Like it is easier to go there and not know what's going on and miss communicate feelings and emotions by seeing pictures or reading posts and not know what going on  instead of staying in touch by phone or letter , by card or box. I admit it is a faster way to communicate But, It has also made it easier to be distant , Easier to be Hurt by not knowing , Angry perhaps because One feels left out of something Joyful or something Sad , Isolated from those you love  , Helpless for not being able to be closer when their is an illness a death . Frustrated because One can not be with those they care about  to share in a moment . Whatever that moment maybe.
    When did we lose touch as a Family ,as Human Beings ? 
    Why do we make it harder on ourselves when we are already  away from those we love ? 
    When do we forgive misunderstandings ? Why Is it easier to Hurt? I could tell someone I love them for who they are .No matter where they live . No matter what they do , or how they  it ,or who there are doing it with ,as long as they are happy . I could careless .

When will love once again be enough ? I am ready for Peace and being able to Heal.To grow past this and once again be whole and happy. For you and for me .For humankind . Why most people is hurt each other . When did we a humans become so busy that we can not even pick you a phone ? Or write a letter  ?   I came to Google+ to make contact with like minds because Facebook has drama that infects what use to be all the sane people I new a know its like they have been infected with so sort of ,Heck ? I dont know . Something! that has rotted their their souls and made them hard . Whats? up with that ? 

She will be heard .

To whom it may concern ,
       
             I have had enough . I am tried of students in school not being heard . Someone has to stop it . Stop the faculty from thinking that they are so sort of Gods . That a student is just a filler in a set , that has no voice to be heard . And no choice but to sit and take it . Perfectly great kids being knocked down by words and actions that come from their teachers that have no clue what is going through the mind of that student . And by this I am not saying all teachers are like this , but  rather here in Randolph county N.C.  it is that way . I don't know how many times I have had to go to South West High School to deal with a inconsiderate teacher for behaving badly  . They have idea  at any time what is going on in a student's mind nor do they seem to care , but when it comes to my student, my child . I will not let them get away  with the remarks the say or the actions the do . My child has be ridiculed and made to to think she has no worth . They accuse her of lying and skipping . They have made comments like''ONLY CUTTERS WEAR T-SHIRTS LIKE THAT or '' Im saying you're lying but''. But nothing ! Who knows how many students drop out of school or even worse commit suicide due to the way that the grown ups treat them in these schools . Words hurt worse  when they come from someone you looked up too . I would much rather be beaten then to have someone call me a liar and I am grown woman .
 And I have  beaten when I was a student in high school  maybe not by a teacher but by someone I looked up to for a time . I know a broken bone will mend ,  I know a bruise will fade , but  I also know that words have the ability to stay with you for a lifetime . Those words still will haunt me to this day . Sure I am grown now but at times , Times like this those words have a way finding me and I hurt all over again . 

Heart Broken,

    What a day yesterday was , I have come to find  that one of these social media conglomerates has become a pain in my side .But , through it all I shall will move on . I will say this first , One has FACEBOOK for staying in touch with children that have left home , for family member that are far away, for friends that one can not see everyday . I have  found it a place to stay in touch in some moronic way. I too have fell victim to its ease of being able to see post or picture that an absent family member and friend that I miss may  put up , As a way  One can correspond with by liking or making comments back and forth or what not . A place to see and  steal a glimpse at people that have been ripped out of Ones life. 
     But , I am sad and worn out , I am tired and  I am heart broken and I am left unknowing of results of yesterday and  the day before and the day before that . I hate that Facebook has become a place where some go and miscommunicate .  Like it is easier to go there and not know what's going on and miss read and interpret feelings and emotions instead of staying in touch by phone or letter , by card or box . It has become easier to go there and  be distant with each other . It has become easier  to be Hurt because One feeling left out of something  or Angry  because One doesn't know what going on. It is easier to be Frustrated because, One feels Helpless  for reason such as , perhaps they can't be somewhere  or with someone when there is an Illness or a Death ,or a Birthday, or a Holiday, what have you? So,it is easier to feel Isolated and Alone then it is to pick up a phone and find out for Oneself . 
   And yes, One may encounter hurt feeling by others that may pick up the phone because ,they have not heard from you in what may seem to be months or years even. But, One can also achieve that same misunderstanding when you text them after said months and or years even due to being so ''Busy''. They are hurt because you haven't called and messaged .
    When did it become easier to be Hurt and Angry ?
    When did we lose touch as a Family, As Human Beings?
    When did we lose the ability of making things personal? 
    Why do we find it harder to forgive the misunderstandings created on these social networks  ? 

When will love once again be enough to span the distance and bridge the gap between one another ? I am ready for this Peace and being able to start to Heal one another .To grow past all of hurt and pain that we feel towards each other due to the misunderstandings and once again be whole and happy. For Peace . I dont know what tomorrow will bring . I hope understanding . I am told time heals all wounds I pray to the Goddess of Light and Love that this if true . Why must we  hurt each other, when we ourselves or hurting ? When did we as human beings become so busy that we can not even pick up a phone ? Or write a letter  ?   I go other places now  to make contact with like minds because Facebook has caused me so much grief and sorrow due to the fact that other have sent me text messages that family members are either dying or dead ,Or it is a place to have hurt feeling sprawled out for the whole world to see . It has become a place for distance .And I  am no longer happy here in my own skin does to misconceptions left from these cold social networks. We have become  infected with so sort of thing  ,Heck ? I dont know . Something ! that has changed us and made us hard . 

    How do we go back ? 

    How can we fix what is broken ? 

    How can we mend all the wounds that we have conflicted on ourselves and those that we care so much for ? I could say I love you a million times , I could say  I'm sorry ,But does that help the Hurt, the Anger, the Frustration, the Helplessness, the Isolation ?  When will we no longer be too busy to reach out to one another ?

Social Media Rant ,

What a day yesterday was ,
     I have come to find out that one of these social media conglomerate has  become a pain in my side , But through it all I will move on . But this first , One has Facebook for staying in touch with children that have left home ,Family that may be far away .I found it a place to stay in touch in some moronic way. I to fell victim to its ease of disconnection . Being able to see post that they put up as One way to  corresponded with said family or friend ,away to span the distance to stay in touch in what has become busy lives , by liking and what not .
    A place to see a steal a glimpse at people that have been ripped out of Ones life. 
   But , I am sad and worn out , tired and heart broken and left unknowing of results of yesterday and today . I hate that Facebook has become a place where that is the only means of  communication . Like it is easier to go there and not know what's going on and miss communicate feelings and emotions instead of staying in touch by phone or letter , by card or box. It has become easier to be distant . Easier to be hurt and angry, because those that are "Too busy''  end up getting  their feelings hurt, because they see something and don't going on and it is easier to fly off the handle about something they know nothing about because they are too busy to pick a phone.  
     When did we lose touch as Human Beings ?
    When did we become so busy that human contact is now becoming extinct?
     Where did contact and siveal communication go ?
      When do we forgive? 

When will love once again be enough ? I am ready for Peace and being able to Heal.To grow past this and once again be whole and happy. For you and for me .For humankind . Why most people is hurt each other . When did we a humans become so busy that we can not even pick you a phone ? Or write a letter  ?   I came to Google+ to make contact with like minds because Facebook has drama that infects what use to be all the sane people I new a know its like they have been infected with so sort of ,Heck ? I dont know . Something! that has rotted their their souls and made them hard . Whats? up with that ? 

A broken Heart,

My Daughter Cherokee , has been battling an illness for sometime now and they are looking for the cause ,  with no luck so far . But, they have actually just started to take a more serious look . I want my daughter to be happy . I mean who knows what’s is in store for her with this . And she was so looking forward to  being able to finish a job all the way through from star to finish  .And she has shown up to that place being so sick to the point of vomiting and she pushed on not taking her well being in consideration and she has been  trampled on by customers from that stupid Spooky Woods. She took pride in not missing a day even after being fallen upon she showed up the next day  .  She has scared in the cold just like  many others to be a part of something bigger than her sickness . And through it all she got up and went to that place .That was something she loved to do . And I am proud of her strength that is a part of her I had not seen until now . She made so many friends . And someone called her last night and told her that her spot was removed due to her not being in her spot or something like that ,  when , she was taking a break ! She had  2 more days left until she would of  finished .And they took that from her . . She is crushed. Its like all the life has been pulled from her . That stupid job made her feel normal apart of something . I try to be a peaceful person but I am finding it hard to be peaceful right now . I don’t know what is in store for my daughter a long happy life I hope. Or a brief one  filled with life and adventure . We wont know until we know . I just wanted her to be happy in this time of uncertainty that  she is going through. She needed that . And the heartless staff even unfriended  her on face book making her feel even worse .Why would they do that ?  She is sick and they have no idea what they have done . It is hard to believe that people are that  careless that they can crush a spirit with the click of a mouse  . She pushed herself to accomplish this and they just took it away from her . My heart breaks

Canning

 I have been canning like crazy . I received a caner for Christmas and after I have gotten the hang of it I have canned my heart out . From Tomato Juice to ,Tomatoes , Pickles, Peppers, Chicken noodle soup , Beans . Gosh, just what ever I can , CAN . I do . I find it so much more satisfying to know exactly I am feeding my family , and neighbors . lol  I grow it and can it or freeze it . I find it opening up a whole new taste pallet for me and my whole family . Healthier the better and I save so much money not having to buy canned foods at the grocery stores . I find myself thinking about what things I can plant in my gardens that I can put to good use  in my pantry . This year I have an abundance of Tomatoes but I have found out that I have many friends that grow gardens and we trade out what one has for what one doesn't have so It is working out very well . Next year will only get better .  

I am so proud of my Tomatoes .I can not believe how big they are getting these are where the big Yellow Tomatoes came from they are lower in acid I here they taste so sweet awesome for juice .

Huge Tomato Plants

I am so proud of myself . Just to be doing something so great for my Family and friends.

 Second Batch Pick                    

Tomatoes

Peppers and Carrots

The Peppers and Carrots and Onions I found on 

the internet.

I have been making my own cooking oils for several years . 

 I love my new way to 

feed my family . I say new way because It is new to me.

Italian beans 

What the Heck ???

Well , I finally put some plants the garden the day my Father died . April 1 st . It has been away to keep busy . With not being able to see family is is extremely hard to loss family . I will be going home for this .I haven't been home in ..? Well. 26 years . Crazy . Dude! I was just in at the calender just a second ago and I looked down at AND SAID ''Dude !!'' we have a wedding to go to today !.. and I took a closer look at the date . It said . Saturday ...!!! Omg ! We missed it . I feel just horrible. Just horrible . I am such a sucky friend . :( 

            I tried calling but , Crap its 8:30 in the morning , Than I was and even worse person for calling on her honeymoon . Man will me father passing away this week I have been all to crap. So to speak .I hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me ,Heck it 's an us thing . He didn't go either . I guess if he's not sweating it I shouldn't either . Right ? 

 And with that said I am going to just have to breathe and go on with my day. I can't fix it now . I call her when I come back from the funeral in Pa. I'll take her some flowers? Or something . I'm just lost and confused right now I can't be so critical on Ones self . 

                                                 Gracious Mother Earth Goddess

                                                                please grant me 

                                   Strength I need to great through my  endeavors 

                And allow me to give peace where needed to my Family and Friends . 

                                                    Blessed be to the Goddess .

Phone Blogging ....

Blogging from the cell phone.
          I just thought I would touch base . I have been working on my B.O.S. ,  working in the yard . I have a few new plants to put in the garden we just need to put some nutrients in the soil first the ground should be ready by this weekend . In the mean time I started some new seedlings, hopefully to sprout in 10 to 12 days. I have been working on some new designs for earrings and bracelets.  I need to put together  something diet wise I would like lose about 20 to 25 pounds this Summer. I think working in the gardens will help out a lot . Lets face it though I am an awesome cook. Too funny.  

Hey, what ?!

I was just sitting here and John was telling me about a man in Miami who was shot and killed for be under the influence of bath salts which caused him to eat another mans face. I being skeptical looked it up and it was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen on the computer or read about in the news .What is the world coming to?

What next?: Why is it that when I can't sleep (damn demons ke...

What next?: Why is it that when  I can't sleep (damn demons ke...: Why is it that when  I can't sleep (damn demons kept me up all night haunting my dreams) and I finally get up take a  hot bath. I try to be...

Why is it that when  I can't sleep (damn demons kept me up all night haunting my dreams) and I finally get up take a  hot bath. I try to be quite so not to disturb my boyfriend  or his mother who ,Yes is on a ventilator in the living room . I try so hard to not bother anyone and when he gets disturbed by coming out of the bath room its as if I threw a bomb in the  bedroom . But, when he wakes up every morning ,on goes the television and then he gets in the shower ,What the heck hes in the shower why does he need to have the T.V. on? I have a Doctors appointment this morning because I have a fractured right elbow . I sometimes feel as if I to walk on egg shells around here . I do so much taking care of his mother while he is at work , Keeping the house clean and up . I am over whelmed being cook , nurse ,house keeper . I don't know who the hell I am anymore . I feel as if I get no respect . Over Easter some of their family came and wanted to know if I thought she might want to go to a nursing home back in Boone where she came from . 1st off why the hell are you asking me?I am not related to anyone here . It isn't up to me .Okay maybe they were asking me because I do have a fractured arm and it is hard on me but still its not up to me . I try to do the best I can .but I feel like it doesn't matter . I was just asked what I was doing and I said venting I mean if I say anything to him try to talk about how I am feeling I get the  ''I am bitching or complaining look '' so now I type to space . So  no one gets hurt except me because I feel as if who cares as long as I take care of his mom . I know I said I would do it  in December to get her out of the hospital  but I like an idiot thought that we would get help from his family .... I know stupid right .?.

What next?: Well,

What next?: Well,: Well, I am awake .Smitty has these choking fits and she had one about 30 minutes ago. John sprung  up and through the room he went bounced o...

Well,

Well, I am awake .Smitty has these choking fits and she had one about 30 minutes ago. John sprung  up and through the room he went bounced off the dresser . bless his heart to find nothing more than she was coughing . Man good reaction  time. (I have never seen him move that fast before in my life , well ....except for that  other time and that was to get some woman out of my hair LITERALLY  hahahaha ......) Some ladies just don't like me .But hey it 's all good . I could care less who likes me and who don't .Never have and never will .  But any way back to what I was saying .So I am awake .I gave Smitt a breathing treatment took a shower and I am just sitting here watching her sleep . So John can sleep . I will try to get some rest later. Its a tirless job but like I say to others ''Someone has to do it ''. I get alot of Thanks yous and this and that but ,You know something none of that matters to me . Smitty needs me like no one has before .We spend just about every moment together .I spend more time with her than my own children as she with me . Let me ask you this .How much do you care people ? You know people your not related to . When my mother had the big BC and was in rehab. to try to walk they treated her like just another sick person . They didn't treat her well and she couldn't leave until her time ran out in that place I went and pickedher up at 11pm and they tried to discharge her late . Its all about the money .The jack . Those places use sick  and the elderly  for money . I don't get paid for taking care of her . I get only breaks here and there for just a short amount of time .My relationship with her son is okay most days ,but I feel like I am starting to get recentful . I am burning out .He does what he can when he can but I still take the largest part of it all on .I mean he works during the day and needs to sleep at night ,so he can work during the day. There is the company of my daughters (they are my best friends) they help with what they can house work so and so on .But  I tell you it is still hard to not do everything . It's hard tyo let someone clean my kitchen ,when there are certain ways I have things .And then I think of Smitty who can't get out of bed .She has to have me do everything for her ,clean her ,cook for her , wipe her ass (as she says she makes me laugh) and I know how lucky I am and I get so overwhelmed by things I just go find a quite place to myself and just cry . I made a comment on face book about how as sick as she is you would think someone would call to check on her .And a wildfire started . I didn't point anyone out , but man did the ravings come from all directions  ''my mom writes letters''and ''so and so calls John '',back and forth it was the saddest thing I have ever seen . The guilt of others pouring over in to the largest bunch of its not us ,your full of it, pot of crap you have ever seen . When all I meant was I know she can't talk but she can  hear you and she speaks but only to those who can read her lips.But anyway her face lights up when someone would call her and speaks to her personally .Was all I meant .I am here with her my boyfriend ,my children and we know who comes by and who doesn't ,and we know when a phone does not ring . But the good thing that happen is weeks of no personal calls to her .... the phone started ringing . I found out along time ago sometime you have to ring a bell to be heard ,and with out intent I was heard and Smitty smiles a little more because there are people calling to talk to her .And for those childish ,spoiled ,self centered ,grown asspeople that have nothing better to do then play games and talk smack ,and you know how you are .KISS MY ROSEY RED REAR!!!!!

Don't you just hate .......

Don't you just hate when people assume something that has nothing to do with them ? For instance I make one comment  on one of those social networks  people come out of the wood work to put in their two cents and then someone else chimes in and  than before you know it there is a pissing contest and it is coming only  from the ones  that have some sort of guilty conscience  running their mouths . Oh , lets just jump to the state of Dah.! Who gives a crap what your reasons are an excuse is still and excuse .  I didn't air anything personal .  If anything personal was aired it came from  someone with a guilty conscience .What is that saying ? If it smells like a turd and looks like a turd  , It damn sure must be a turd .  Too funny ..... All I know is that (we work hard at what we do )and  for those that don't  ,leave those of us  that do the Hell Alone . Lol  I have to much to do taking care of those people I love and care about . My Family . Oh here is another good saying ''You can't  fix Stupid''.

What next?: Ok , Smitt made it home from the Hospital yesterda...

What next?: Ok , Smitt made it home from the Hospital yesterda...: Ok , Smitt made it home from the Hospital yesterday, I was trained to change the trac before we took a ride in the ambulance to get her hom...

Ok , Smitt made it home from the Hospital yesterday, I was trained to change the trac before we took a ride in the ambulance to get her home . So that makes so far , I know all about the  operation of the Ventialtor .( check )Nebulizer machine and the meds for said machine (check) . S.A.S.H. which is her I.V. meds. and technique that I do  manually... (check) . Oh  yes and changing the dagdone Trac (check) That one took the longest because I had to find the right Doctor to give the ok on And his said he does not do that but ... because he has heard such good things about me he will give the clearance . So now I am wondering who and why are people in the medical profession talking about me. I am just one woman taking care of somebody elses mom. I get so upset some times I don't mean to . But , I do more for this woman than I ever had to do for my mother( her IV she had a machine) . I didn't have to give my mother breathing treatments , And she never I mean never used to the bed pan with me either. So I hope you can see why I get so sad some times. It is hard on me , but I do it for John and his family because I know what it will be like when they lose there mom. Because I lost mine . I miss her ever so much . And I don't think I am appreciated for what I do , but I trudge one penniless oh yes I don't get paid for what I do .On call 24hours a day with a break only when Smitt goes back into the hospital . And don't let me get started on the arguments. Is it worth all the heart ache ? I hope ....... Well and on top of all that at this pee hour in the morning I get the bed pan so Smitt could use it on the way to empty it out John 's little min pin took a crap in the floor and guess what I did on my way to the bathroom to empty the bedpan ? I HATE THAT DOG!!!! I am  a cat person they at least you a box. Like my life just keeps getting better . And for those of you who find that last part funny .... Walk one day in my shoes and see  just how funny it really is ......

She feels how she feels....

No one said you were an ass! I have shit to do and dont have a phone strapped to my ass 24 hours a day.!  And Cherokee gave me her phone cause her grades were bad .Know she  has her phone back  and she finally told you again how she feels .Look here dude dont bring us into your crap . I have know you a long..... time . I don't know why your back other than because Hanna got hit . I do not  push you around Keith . How do I make you feel like shit? Because of what Your Wife tried to do to my Family . Tore us apart! and you stood by her . I know you have your kids to think about . but Cherokee thought she was one of them at one time and You pushed her away , You didn't have time for her those were your choices not hers . If you feel like shit that is something you have done not me . I have only tried to keep my kid happy and safe. I know Cindy started all of this and than you called a month later after it calmed down and said you did it . remember?
 Keith I love you , you were  my only friend . And you of all people should know you can't make everyone happy . You have to make you happy. Cherkoee is hurt . She feels like you kicked her aside when you had kids of your own . She feels she has been forgotten by someone . You can't just blow into town and try to spend on her and blow back out again . She is growing up Keith and she sees what is going on .  You left  and left Cindy to tell her . And then Cindy tried did the unspeakable by tring to put me in jail to have Cherokee for a babysitter . (That what my neighbor and  my friend Tiffany told me  when Cindy went nextdoor ) Keith , Cherokee is so torn up and she has been since you left the first and didn't tell her . She has been sent things with cuse words on them ,naked pictures of Cindy on em ,she has been forgotten , sent things that dont work ,. If she was your daughter and your were her dad you would of made sure that all of that didn't happen . You would of done a better job protecting her . And what of the time when you and cindy let her drink and you laughed at her when she drank to much . Keith parents dont did that .And please don't use wanting to be closer to Cherokee as your reason for moving back . It is because of Hanna and Cindy .And I am sick and tired to being blamed for all of this !!!! Mom did this. or your mom didn't do that . Its done! you can't blame me anymore. She feels how she feels. Let me know when you get back and I will give you your what ever . You were my friend for sometime and then you were gone .And I don't mean to Texas either .